| American Humor
There were two Blondes sitting in a room. One was reading the newspaper. The headlines read "Two Brazillian soldiers killed". She sat there a minute then looked to the other blonde and said "How many is a brazillian"?
There were two Blondes, one on one side of a river, the other on the opposite side. The first Blonde hollars over to the second one "How do you get to the other side?" The second Blonde says "Duh, you are on THE OTHER SIDE!"
For the first two years I was married, I thought toast had bones. It turns out my wife was making pork chops.
My ex was was a large woman, she was so large, the last time we made love, I went to roll off of her, rolled over three times and was still ontop of her.
My ex was so large that when we went on vacation in florida, she was laid out on the beach and 12 guys tried to put her back in the water.
My ex was so large, her shadow weighed 43 pounds.
dont get me wrong, I do not want a big truck to run over my ex wife..... a small truck will do.
TIP FOR THE DAY: One thing that should never be said while making love........."Maybe on second thought, we SHOULD turn out the lights". (this tends to ruin the mood).
A 80 yr old man bought a corvette. He was out on the highway when he decided to see just how fast the car would go. 50 mph......70 mph....90 mph...110 mph.... it was then he saw a policeman behind him with his lights and siren going. The old man thought to himself "I can out run him". 115 mph, 120 mph... 130 mph. Then he thought again "I am too old to be doing this" so he stopped and the policeman walked up to the car and said "Sir, I only have 10 minutes left on my shift, if you can give me a reason I have never heard before as to why you were speeding like that, I will let you go". The old man thought a minute and said "My wife ran off with a policeman a few years ago, I thought you were bringing her back".
Have a good day,
Greg aka GW |