Stephen Hale

Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Bill didn't show up. Sam wasn't concerned; he thought Bill might have a cold or some urgent appointment. But after Bill hadn't shown up
for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since Sam didn't know where Bill lived (the only time they ever got together was at the park) he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

After a month had passed, Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill.

On his next visit to the park, however, Bill was sitting on their usual bench waiting for him.

Amazed and delighted, Sam exclaimed, ''For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?''

Bill replied, ''I've been in jail.'

''Jail?'' cried Sam. ''You?! What on earth for?''

''Well,'' Bill said, ''you know Sue , that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?''''

Yes,'' said Sam, ''I remember her. What about her?''

''Well, one day she filed rape charges against me.

At age 89, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded ''guilty.''

''The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.''