Stephen Hale

There were two old guys, Alf and Bert, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about football, just like they did every day.

Alf turns to Bert and says, "Do you think there's football in heaven?"

Bert thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I don’t know, Alf. But let's make a deal: If I die first, I will come back and tell you -- and if you die first, you come back and tell me -- if there is football in heaven."

They shake on it and, sadly, a few months later poor Alf passes on.

One day soon afterward, Bert is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Bert... Bert...."

Bert responds, "Alf! Is that you?"

"Yes it is Bert," whispers the spirit of Alf.

Bert, still amazed, asks, "So, is there football in heaven?"

"Well," says Alf says, "I got good news and I got bad news."

"Give me the good news first," says Bert.

Alf says, "Well... there is football in heaven."

Bert says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Alf sighs and whispers, "You're playing on Friday."