Operation M. The Great Work Has Begun!

[Waspie]

Word has reached MORON, (Marmite Oppression Resistance Organisation Network!), that MARCON 2 has been declared.
All MORON operatives have been given the order, 'Gloves Off' and to bring all their own cutlery!!
All jars of full Marmite have been brought to full readiness in preparation for a first strike!!!!
Bread is only to be used for toast and all toasters to be readied for immediate deployment.
This is not a drill!!! (Honest)

 

[Gern]

Chris - Despite his tendency to get just a teensy weensy bit overexcited at times, Herr Professor Doktor Mindbender has my full confidence.

Jim - "Sophisticated taste buds!!??" Yeah sure. Just like I'm sure some dung beetles have them!

Ron - Sounds like there's hope for you yet if you have to adulterate the stuff by mixing it and cooking it with proper foodstuffs before eating it! Please don't use it for treating the cat's boils though. If they have boils, surely they're suffering enough already without you treating them with this foul stuff!

Allen - If you've not been exposed to the foul M you should count your lucky stars! Hopefully my work will eradicate it before any maniacal idiots decide to import it into your country.

Michael - Maybe Davros should have thought about how appealing they would look to the Daleks before finalising his design?

Steve - The stuff's not THAT tasty!

Doug - I am not afraid of the deluded fools who have joined MORON! Their appetite for the foul M will be destroyed by Herr Professor Doktor Mindbender's rays before they will be able to mount any kind of organised resistance to the plan!

 

[JR]

Here at The Towers fortifications have begun. The moat has been toped up, the hot oil containers ready to pour on to any attackers.
Stocks of the wondrous Marmite have been increased in case of a world run on the product .
Meanwhile Matron her self a great Marmite lover has checked over her instruments including the new titanium double barbed injection system and is ready , be aware !

 

[Tim Marlow]

Well the scientific and technical division of MORON , known as the Marmite oppression resistance organisation network intelligence community (MORONIC) has already started its essential work.

We have recruited the world renowned expert on health and nutrition Doctor Strangebrew (he knows what’s inside of you) to front up the research. His team of top boffins were quickly identified and assembled. This was easy. After all, intelligent right thinking people are lovers.

Useful research has been very quickly made. His team have already discovered that Mindbender, that well known quack and snake oil salesman, has no really new ideas. It has been found that a quick shower every day with Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes shampoo will eliminate any lingering effects of his so called anti marmite ray. After all, his so called new device is really only a forty watt bulb dressed up in a fancy case, so what harm can it really do.

The counter insurgency initiative, Operation Not That Old Assbinders Stupid Technology, is also well underway. Copious amounts of the delicious brown nectar have been distributed to secret stashes throughout this marmite loving land of ours. At a prearranged signal from the omnipotent Matron the counter attack will begin. Resistance is futile. Her secret legions of matronettes, trained from birth to do what is right and tasty will roam the land unopposed, giving toast and sustenance to those that need it.

The lovers will prevail. All shout the battle cry from on high……

Be a lover, not a fighter…….

 

[boatman]

WELLRE tunnel our way into Race Towers an it will fall before the mighty Noers so all your defences wont do you any good an destroy your M stocks an we will ride rough shod over Matron mind you i will be somewhere gaurdin our rear as if they can build the channel tunnel then gettin into Race Towers will be a bit of cake an the rays from the Doc will get you an you will wonder why you are defending the dreaded M in the first place so you Sir an your M lovers have lost lol PS MR J/R WHAT depth is the moat as when we tunnelin in we dont want your moat to get a leak ? it is meters thank you

 

[JR]

WELLRE tunnel our way into Race Towers an it will fall before the mighty Noers so all your defences wont do you any good an destroy your M stocks an we will ride rough shod over Matron mind you i will be somewhere gaurdin our rear as if they can build the channel tunnel then gettin into Race Towers will be a bit of cake an the rays from the Doc will get you an you will wonder why you are defending the dreaded M in the first place so you Sir an your M lovers have lost lol PS MR J/R WHAT depth is the moat as when we tunnelin in we dont want your moat to get a leak ? it is meters thank you

Commander Boatman.

There is little point in tunnelling under Race Towers, the Germans in WW2 FAILED and so will all other attempts. Built by our ancestors in defence of out land in ancient times the Towers have with stood all attempts to gain entry as we fitted 5 lever locks to BS on the main gate.

Matron is very annoyed at your post and is leaving to day to " have words " .If I was you I would go into hiding !!!!

 

[boatman]

MR J/R SIR we will get into Race towers as we have been lent the MOLE from a certain secret organation an SO your B/S on your main gate WONT DO ANY GOOD LOL an Matron oh my faithfull NOERS will protect me from her as im taken steps big long ones down south to my kindred lol

 

[Waspie]

MR J/R SIR we will get into Race towers as we have been lent the MOLE from a certain secret organation an SO your B/S on your main gate WONT DO ANY GOOD LOL an Matron oh my faithfull NOERS will protect me from her as im taken steps big long ones down south to my kindred lol

Border Force are under the control of Moron and your picture has been prioritised as POI, capture hold and use the full power of the black stuff to gain information regards the enemy’s of Marmite!!!!

 

[boatman]

UNDER the geneva convention If i get captuered its name rank an no. ONLY
BUT the Noesers will get me through from capture or gern may send a chopper to pick me up an take me to the secret base as i know to much lol

 

[Waspie]

UNDER the geneva convention If i get captuered its name rank an no. ONLY
BUT the Noesers will get me through from capture or gern may send a chopper to pick me up an take me to the secret base as i know to much lol

The Geneva convention only applies if you’re taken by a nice person.
Who’s saying followers of the black stuff are ‘nice’!!! Ha- ha - hahaha Harrrrrrr.

 

[Gern]

URGENT! URGENT!

You have bought it to my attention that the agents of MORON are preparing to strike back at we supporters of The Great Campaign!

You need not fear! Herr Professor Doktor Mindbender, in collaboration with Doctor Raines has developed a low-power, short range projector. These are being produced as we speak so should any of our supporters notice suspicious activity near their home or place of work please notify me immediately and one will be sent to you.

Do not worry about any potential side effects from these projectors! They do not use the same frequencies as our weapon against the lovers of M. No! All they do is to amplify our natural tendency to forget why we went into the kitchen (or upstairs or the garden). Anyone coming within range will find they have no memory of why they have travelled there and will simply turn round and go back home!

These projectors will also have a similar effect on Matron, except her desire to return home will be transfomed into a desperate need for a cup of tea - which will satisfy her natural instincts as a nurse. In line with our strictly humane policy of not harming people, should she arrive on your doorstep having failed to find a nearby cafe, would you please provide her with a cuppa (biscuits are optional but not discouraged); after which she will return home.

DO NOT throw chocolates at her! There is a scurrilous rumour that nurses cannot resist chocolate and will be distracted from any task they have been given! Anyone found following this heinous practice will be banished from our organisation and left to the mercy of M lovers!

While this has delayed completion of the secret base, fear not! The work continues and it will soon be fully operational, at which point our main purpose will begin and then the scourge of M will be removed from the minds of our citizens!

 

[JR]

MR J/R SIR we will get into Race towers as we have been lent the MOLE from a certain secret organation an SO your B/S on your main gate WONT DO ANY GOOD LOL an Matron oh my faithfull NOERS will protect me from her as im taken steps big long ones down south to my kindred lol

Ha a mole, the subbase of the Towers is made from Sheffield Steel, with a thick layer of marmite used as a cement covering .

George Ramsbottom the chief engineer allowed for this in case of mole attack . All that will happen to your mole is the strong electro magnification will blunt the teeth and result in your mole becoming stuck in reverse, so disappearing the way it came, at a very fast rate.

 

[Waspie]

Ha a mole, the subbase of the Towers is made from Sheffield Steel, with a thick layer of marmite used as a cement covering .

George Ramsbottom the chief engineer allowed for this in case of mole attack . All that will happen to your mole is the strong electro magnification will blunt the teeth and result in your mole becoming stuck in reverse, so disappearing the way it came, at a very fast rate.

Never fear John, Moron uses EMP, (Electro Marmite Pulses) to disrupt any ray the campaigners may have designs to use!!!

 

[boatman]

Never fear John, Moron uses EMP, (Electro Marmite Pulses) to disrupt any ray the campaigners may have designs to use!!!

I'LL Have you know that this mole was desingded by brains an can go through anything lol an its good to know that M is good for something like cement but to eat urgh you will get lockjaw lol

 

[Tim Marlow]

Never fear John, Moron uses EMP, (Electro Marmite Pulses) to disrupt any ray the campaigners may have designs to use!!!

Yep, we in Moronic have designed exceptional defensive devices to protect Race towers. Here they are in situ…..




As you can see they are state of the Ark devices, and even have protective ear defenders.

We are developing mobile technology and having it produced in Japan. Here are some prototypes being demonstrated by our brave boys….


Soon we will be invincible…….

 

[boatman]

WELL WE will be underground so it wont afect us an brains has added something so secret to protect us but he wont say in case of a moron get to hear about it

 

[JR]

WELL WE will be underground so it wont afect us an brains has added something so secret to protect us but he wont say in case of a moron get to hear about it

As shown in Tim's fine photos of the brave boys testing the ultra sonic blaster , a low 20 hertz sine wave will decimate any thing underground Chris . That frequency will cause your insides to vibrate at such a low rate that the only thing that you will be able to eat / drink is a hot cup of marmite !

 

[boatman]

NO WAY as that was what brains said as you will be underground you will be unconsius an he has made a robot to pilot us in under race towers so them rays wont affect us an when we come up in race towers we will hold you prisoners an pour 4bo all over you dios lol

 

[JR]

NO WAY as that was what brains said as you will be underground you will be unconsius an he has made a robot to pilot us in under race towers so them rays wont affect us an when we come up in race towers we will hold you prisoners an pour 4bo all over you dios lol

Thanks very unkind, I'm telling on you .

" Matron Chris is being horrible " " Is he by Jove , a little jab will soon cure him " .
There you're for it now !

 

[boatman]

CEASE FIRE im goin to kip